Fat on the inside, fit on the outside...and girl can EAT!

I've always been fascinated by the athletic physique. Especially on a female-bodied person. I mean, I love to see women with muscular definition, cut arms, thick thighs, big booties...it's the kind of body I always wanted but I never thought I could BE one of those women. At the beginning of this year, I set myself a goal to get down to 20% body fat. Not a significant number, just like the way it sounds...like a challenge! I used to tell myself that I was just a "big girl"...naturally. Bullshit. I was using food as a coping mechanism and the weight was hiding and protecting me from the world, from life, and from myself. Every pound I gained was in response to an emotion and a reaction to that emotion. I was just in denial that it was a problem. And a lot of people in my life supported that denial. I was told over and over again that I had a "beautiful face" and that I was "big and strong." I was a "good person" and that size has nothing to do with that. EXACTLY. So why can't we just be honest with each other about it? No one EVER told me my weight was an issue except my doctor. And why don't we express these issues to the people we love? Because it may hurt their feelings? Yeah, the truth hurts sometimes, but shit I NEEDED to hear it in a positive and encouraging way for once. To me, "beautiful face" = you have pretty features from the neck up, but you're atrocious from the neck down. And "big and strong" was simply a nice way of saying "big." Just get to the point already. Like I didn't know I was fat.

I believe my body was meant to be the size it was, for the amount of time I allowed it to be. I'm not ashamed of my past or present self or physical being. I love the old me and I love the new me. I love that I have had the experience of walking this Earth as a fat girl. If you haven't, you have NO IDEA how vastly different and difficult it can be. It's not easy. I made it tolerable by adopting a quick wit, fast mouth, and sharp sense of humor. It helped, a little. I don't believe anyone wants to be excessively overweight. It's not fun. It's not a life goal. It's not healthy. But, it happens. When I tipped the scale at 300lb, I knew I couldn't ignore it anymore.

So, check it out. According to this chart (http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/bmi_tbl.pdf), I was EXTREMELY OBESE (dun-dun-duuuuunn!) at 5'8.5" and 300lb. My doctor said I was technically "morbidly obese" meaning my size would almost certainly attribute to my demise. I didn't intend to make that rhyme, but I like it! Today, at the same height and 165lb, I'm still considered overweight. That's just ridiculous. This is one of many reasons I HATE BMI charts! Who came up with this shit!? It's horrible. Tells you close to nothing about a person's health. Am I overweight now? Hell no. A lot of athletes and people in training find themselves in the overweight and obese range when looking at their BMI. Shaq would be considered obese at his size. Is Shaq obese? No. 

Source: NASM

While I still don't like the idea of generalizing people in terms of body composition, your body fat percentage tells you a whole hell of a lot more about the physical health of your body than BMI does. And sadly, this measurement is rarely taken and very few people know their own body fat percentage. Mine was well over 40% when I was at my heaviest, again placing me above the level 5 "poor" category. Now, I'm at 21%. According to this chart, that's "very good" (really? couldn't think of a better column title than that?) So, am I "very good" or am I "overweight"? See where BMI can really skew reality? 

Ok, back to the food. Or did we even talk about food yet? No....opps. This was supposed to be about food. I wanted to start sharing my diet with you all in more detail than usual. A lot of people ask me how many calories I consume daily and what my macro (protein, carbs, fat) proportions look like. I usually don't like to share that info because I don't want people thinking they need to follow EXACTLY what I'm doing in order to see results. Everyone is different. But, now I realize, I'd rather more folks eat like me, than eat the way people in our country typically do. Plus, I'd like for people to see and understand how calories, metabolism, nutrients, and habits all work TOGETHER. So, as I work to shed this last ONE percent of body fat, I'll be sharing alllllll the good stuff with you. 



My diet is generally clean of

...grains, cereals, and pseudocereals (wheat, barley, rice, quinoa, etc).
...soy (edamame, tofu, tempeh, soymilk, etc).
...refined sugars (candy, less than 85% chocolate, baked goods, etc)
...concentrated sugars (dried fruits, agave, jam, preserves, juices/smoothies, maple syrup, etc) 
...vegetable oils (canola, corn, soybean, etc) 
...dairy products (milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream, etc made from the milk of cows) 
...legumes (beans, peas, lentils) 
...high glycemic and processed food products (corn, white potatoes, bread, chips, crackers, etc) 
...alcohol and other drugs   
...commercially raised animal products (beef, pork, eggs, chicken, etc) 

Monday, June 10 

Meal 1, 11:00am (2 hours after waking, 8 hours of sleep) 

I started the day with 4 cups of hot tea. I do this every morning. And it's almost always this one. I LOVE that stuff! 

Ground lean pork and veggies with an egg white, flax seed and squash pancake topped with peanut butter, honey, and blueberries. 

Total prep and cook time: 20 minutes

Calories: 590

Protein: 50g

Carbs: 34g

Fat: 31g

Meal 2, 3:30pm

Roasted turkey breast wraps with avocado, shredded carrot, Persian cucumber, and cilantro over a bed of baby mixed greens and topped with roasted sunflower seeds and homemade pico de gallo. 

Total prep and cook time: 15 minutes

Calories: 250

Protein: 25g

Carbs: 17g

Fat: 10g

Meal 3, 7:00pm

Homemade slow-cooked chicken and vegetable curry with sliced apple*, raw almonds, and pistachios. 

Total prep and cook time: 15 minutes (to throw it all in the cooker, 5 hours later I came home to a complete dinner)

Calories: 550

Protein: 36g

Carbs: 33g

Fat: 29g

DAY TOTALS

Calories: 1,390

Protein: 111g (42%)

Carbs: 84g (32%)

Fat: 70g (26%)

Total kitchen time: 35 minutes!

*There is only 1/3 of an apple on that plate. Those slices are very thin which means I am less likely to eat a lot as it takes me more time. I do this with all my fruit because...it's still sugar and it's VERY easy to eat too much fruit. 

Today was a "rest" day for me although my lifestyle is more active than most. I was on my feet most of the day. I absolutely LOVE eating this way. I feel insanely energized, focused, healthy, light, fast, and happy. When I sleep well, eat like this, and drink water all throughout the day, I NEVER crave sugar or carbs. I have my cravings down to a science.

• If I don't sleep long enough or if I have interrupted sleep = cravings! 
• If I don't drink at least 8 cups of water between meals = cravings!
• If I eat too much "junk" = cravings! 

The only other time I experience cravings is when I am emotional about something that I have NOT yet dealt with in a healthy way. Long-term stress, irritation, anger, sadness, etc = cravings!!

If my caloric intake seems low that's because it was, today. I slept in late and am going to bed very early, so my caloric needs were different than other days. Also, my appetite was low because of where I am in my cycle. I do not obsess about making sure I eat the same amount of food everyday. I do not obsess over my macros. I do not count calories. In fact, I haven't done this in many, many years. I live in the present and take my life day by day. I listen to my body and eat how and what I want. My habits have developed over time. Replacing old habits using the input of years of education, experience, and self-awareness. I didn't just wake up one day and know exactly how to eat for my needs. But, once I found the right balance and diet for me, I committed myself 100% to it until it became my norm. Now, I don't have to think about it at all. Prepping occurs as naturally to me as showering. Shopping is as easy as painting my nails. Cooking is as enjoyable as any other pastime and I absolutely love the way I look and feel. Cleaning up my diet was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life and I won't ever go back. There isn't a single pasta dish or fast-food meal that's worth it!